Frida "Mammy Miss" Mande Mokube - Site web commémoratif en ligne

Mami Miss was the mother of hundreds of children spanned through generations. Some of us just happened to be her Biological kids. She felt very comfortable with children of all ages and would engage in a heated discussion even with a 5 year old. I recall how she used to stand her ground with Iya Ete (her granddaughter then 5) or her niece Patience. Her logic was simple and she definitely knew how to communicate with kids. There was a time that my son Mustapha brought his 10 year old white friend home and they were playing and running around the house. They continued into my bedroom and when they came out, my mother asked the white boy a question: Does Mustapha go into your parent’s room to play when he is visiting you at your house? The boy answered: No. Then what do you think you are doing in his parent’s room?

 

She also had a lot of fun with children, paid a lot of attention to their comments and still found their behaviour interesting even after her many many years as a primary school teacher and Head Mistress. I recall this story she often told about her granddaughter. Quote: “Grandma, when you first came here, you were walking like this …upright… but now this is how you walk… stooped. What happened?” Then she would laugh out loud and say: “these pickin them.” She was as sweet as a sweet mother can be. She will show you abundant love, be very caring and affectionate but she will not shower you with praises in your presence. She thought like many other people that children might become cocky when they were showered with a lot of praises.

She could not stand proud people. She believed that everything you have is a gift from God and you should show humility. You may have money, success, a solid health and most important, Love. Those are blessings the Almighty God has bestowed upon you and you should appreciate them by being humble. She instilled that in all her children. They might be a little shy but none of them can be described as proud.

 

My mother also dreaded waste. Her rule was: You do not throw food away because there are always some needy people out there who have nothing to eat. I never faltered on that one. I had figured out, in my early primary school years, a way to avoid throwing food away. I ate my meat or fish last. Other people do it in order to keep the best for the last but I did it because no matter how full I was, there was no way I would not find space for my meat or fish in my stomach.

 

Mami Miss was always very concerned about her children and would be very upset when she found out that I have not been keeping contact with all of them. I mean all of them. Constant dialogue is usualy a great impediment to misunderstanding because everybody would be on the same page. Have you spoken to Big Papa? Victor? How about Gwen? Emeri? Innocent? (There is a very long list). How are they? She could not understand how I could feel comfortable with the fact that I did not know how my siblings were faring for 2 weeks. On my part, I believed that sometimes no news is good news. Not her.

Can you imagine that I discovered her special gift by chance after decades only when she came to America and my attention was drawn to it by a total stranger in church. She had introduced herself to a lady as Mammy Mokube from Cameroon and then smiled. And the Lady replied, OH that smile!!! Yes, her smile. All those who know her will remember her smile. It lit up the whole room coming deep from within her and you could even see it in her eyes. At some point, I was tempted to say that she had smiling eyes but that would not make any sense, would it? It is rather unfortunate that we would never hear that laughter or see that smile that she kept till her last days whenever her favorite church song was playing or being sung, ever again.

 

Mami Miss loved to talk and would go on and on and on. She wanted to find out everything; Typical teacher. Sometimes I would say to her: Mammy you can surely talk OH? And she would respond: Yes make I talk. What would you people remember me by? At least you could say she used to talk. She made her position blatantly clear on any issue that was raised. Unfortunately, Last year when I came home for my brother’s burial, I discovered that she had virtually stopped talking. The popular saying a penny for your thoughts started making sense. I would be lucky to get a response like ‘EH Papa’ once in a while from her. I then realized I greatly missed her talkativeness but now she is gone I will miss her dearly. We will all miss her very much. Our consolation is that we all now have for a guardian angel someone who always stood for truth and fairness. We will all honour you every day by maintaining the values that you taught us. May you rest in perfect peace, Mami Miss.

Evans

You came from humble beginnings in Dikome Balue. You set your sights on God from the start. The Lord touched your heart so much with love through Jesus Christ that you shared it by moulding young minds...minds that grew up with values and intellect. Minds that will never forget you. You helped those in need unconditionally when the occasion arose, and that increased your household a hundred fold. There was so much love, joy, peace and harmony in the home that we felt we were in paradise. Mami, you taught us to worship God always and by example, you showed us how. How can we forget the times you would be rushing to get to CWF meetings on time? How can we forget you waking us up at 5:00 a.m. to worship the Lord in prayer? Or getting ready on Sunday mornings to go to church and worship God? Yes, you were selfless in a bid to make people feel fine. You were endowed with God given intellect that made you bring harmony among people. You were so savvy at encouraging people that my first trip to Dikome Balue on foot for hours was not so tiring. Mami, God's glory was shining on you. Just being around you brought a sense of peace to us. Yes, you chastised us when we went astray, but at the same time, you still showed us your love. Because of this, we enjoyed a feeling of security every child should have growing up. I am eternally grateful to God for making you our mother. Just like the song says "sweet mother" you will forever be cherished in our hearts. The Lord called you to be with Him at the time and under circumstances that make me glorify Him. Yes mami Miss, you faithfully answered God's calling in doing what you did for humanity. How can I thank you for your endeavours? The least I can behold is to behold you as an icon. I know you are in a better place now, basking in God's glory and having a time of your eternal life. I also know you are looking down upon us and I ask you to continue to show us in various ways how to carry on your legacy. Have a great time in heaven, mami Miss, for you deserve it. Well done, Mami Miss, well done!!

Mami Miss, at this point, I still cannot come up with the right words to say you did a great job mum. I am writing this for others to hear and to read. The real thing was the good and bad times we spent together in Edea before you went to the States in 2000 and in Douala when you came back in 2009.

 

Yes mami you did it from the times up station in Kumba in the fifties when you taught only infants one in Basel mission school. I really wonder why an intelligent lady like you just ended up teaching only infants one in places which included Presbyterian schools in Tiko; the girls’ school in Victoria; the school in Buea and then your switch over to Government schools where you ended your teaching career in Kosala. I thought you must have been tired of the little munchkins who once they were upset cried for their mommy and daddy. Oh well I finally got it: It was because of your love for children. Yes you were devoted to them and some of those you taught are here today to say good bye to “our dear infants one teacher mami Frida Mokube”. I can still remember some educationists of those days whom I considered icons of yesteryear. Who went to school in Kumba town and did not know of Ma Epie, or of Ma Sona Ebai or of Ma Elizabeth Ebanja and of course of Ma Mokube?

 

It was not smooth sail living in a house with a mother as a teacher. One had to do besides the house chores, all the home work and she instead of looking at the work we did, she examined our hand writing and English language. How clean could one be before going to school and what about the uniform inspection after school knowing that any dirt found on your dress for the girls and shirt or trousers for the boys could end you some “stretch out your hand”. You can imagine the bliss one felt to leave home for boarding school. It was not only school that mami wanted our lives to be shaped with.

 

There was this big thing of her father being a catechist in the Basel Mission Church which she carried over into our house to install “good Christian values” as we were growing up. Sunday school was not only Sunday school. It was going to school on Sunday not to learn arithmetic or writing or English but to learn and understand the “Word of God”!!! You were tested (little questions of course) on what you were taught as a lesson upon getting home. During mami’s stay on this planet she juggled between teaching, church work, CWF, being an elder which meant walking miles to give communion to those who could not make it to church (as a matter of fact in her last years in Douala what she did 40 to 50 years ago was being done to her). This lady called mami miss loved singing and the CWF members in Kumba Town church can vouch for that. I believe it was that talent of hers that trickled down to three of her boys who got involved in music during their day in secondary school (Victor was with the Troggs in CPC Bali, George with the HERRINGS in PSS Kumba and Evans with the POP TOPS in Lycee bilingue in Molyko).

 

Mami had only boys, seven of them (what a magic number) and although she always wanted to have her own biological daughter, she was blessed with several young girls whom she acknowledged and adopted as her daughters. One thing I want to say here is that mami was taken care of by her children during her seven year stay in the US of A and she returned to Cameroon. In America, she travelled to lot, going to visiting relatives, friends and families of her children. She travelled to London to stay with her sibling Margaret for over six months. All her daughters in law respected her and I believe loved her as well, although she sometimes complained to me that some of her boys’ wives did not really treat her nicely. Oh well mami, now you are gone to a better place with the Lord by your side. In the last two years, her grandchildren living in the States made a trip to Cameroon with their mothers and visited mami.

 

Although mami was kind of hard to us, she did that with loving care. Once she stayed in the Laquintine Hospital with Eric for close to two weeks, sleeping under his bed. It was Evans and Aisha taking turns in the hospital in Atlanta when she was operate upon. What about the days in Polyclinic Muna where Pamela was with her for over six weeks until she came around from her coma and was brought back home?

 

2011 was not super good for the lady; she had trouble walking and was always helped to do everything from bathing to feeding to going back to bed. Yes it is tough when one is in a situation like that but you know when love is involved, it lightens the load and that’s what it was with mami. She was surrounded by her loved ones. We the children give Pamela (MY beloved wife) a big hug and a big THANK YOU for coordinating her last few years on this planet and what can we say to Wase Evelyn and Majorie; Thank you girls. We thank the house help Onorine and Carolyn. Ono you sure did a great job from the beginning till the end. Not to forget the staff of Muna clinic especially Dr. Dingmo who followed her up and Dr. Fofung. Elder Fransisca Anaba you were the one who administered mami’s last communion, yes it is done like you said and what a joy to see her go home this way; just as her husband wrote some twenty three years ago. “GOING HOME, WHAT IS GOING HOME”

You mami will still remain firmly in our memories and may that peace that you always talked about continue to propagate in our household.

 

THIS IS MY STORY MAMI.

Mama I am very thankful to you for all life's lessons you gave to me as a young woman. Thanks to you I am the kind of woman that I am, capable of raising and taking care of a home. Thank you for the discipline you taught me. I am aware that I have not done enough in return for all your sacrifices on my behalf. But my heart has them registered. Farewell mama as you face your Heavenly Father's direction.

Your daughter,

Rebecca Mojoko Mote-Ndasah

I have been a friend of Mama Frida and her husband Paul Mokube Nanje who happens to be my age mate. I have this to say to the Dikome people who do not know them as I do. From January 1941, Mama Frida and her husband Paul Mokube were the only Dikome Balue people in Kumba with a home; so they hosted all the Dikome Balue people who came to Kumba. Sometimes their house was so full that, some people slept on the veranda. They fed all of us. So Mama Frida you have gone to join your husband. We say farewell and thank you from all the people of Dikome Balue.